As I sat on the bed crying and wondering how to fix my marriage my eyes fell upon a book that I enjoy. I don't read it often enough and I certainly don't really listen to what it has to say, but if only I could find a way to do that, my life would be so much more pleasant. To the left is a link to the book, " I will in a future post let you know the pages I enjoy most. For now I need to think about my marriage.
I married young....20 years old. He and I only knew each other 2 months when we were married. We eloped and moved to the military base where he was stationed. We had a lot of learning to do about life and marriage and each other. We had more good times than bad in our relationship, but the stress of recent months has put a large weight on my relationship. I work full time now because finances are so bad. I don't mind working, but it has added a great deal of stress to our lives. I take care of the children during the day, do chores, and work, then I go out on appointments at night. I'm up early and up late and get very little sleep. Hubby hasn't changed his routine at all. He goes to bed early, gets up early, works, and then comes home to play games or sleep. In 12 years he has let me handle everything.....complaining people, where to put furniture, raising the girls, making the meals, everything.....and I'm beat. I just can't do it all anymore. I can't. It's like a pair of spandex pants, it can stretch pretty far under some pretty big weight, but at some point it is not to rip or hurt the person wearing it. I feel like I'm drowning without any sign of a life boat near by. I tell him how I feel and it gets me no where. What do I do? I do love him, but I just can't do it all anymore. I feel like his mother, I take care of him, do things for him, and he even hugs me like I'm his mom by burying his head in my chest. I even went into our room and took out my pillow and blanket in hopes that he would talk to me and work on our relationship, but he just rolled over and went to bed. So now it is up to me to find my sugar.
I'm going to go and bake my daughter's birthday cake now and think about what path I should take, what choices I have, and how I can find my sugar to add to these lemons.
I married young....20 years old. He and I only knew each other 2 months when we were married. We eloped and moved to the military base where he was stationed. We had a lot of learning to do about life and marriage and each other. We had more good times than bad in our relationship, but the stress of recent months has put a large weight on my relationship. I work full time now because finances are so bad. I don't mind working, but it has added a great deal of stress to our lives. I take care of the children during the day, do chores, and work, then I go out on appointments at night. I'm up early and up late and get very little sleep. Hubby hasn't changed his routine at all. He goes to bed early, gets up early, works, and then comes home to play games or sleep. In 12 years he has let me handle everything.....complaining people, where to put furniture, raising the girls, making the meals, everything.....and I'm beat. I just can't do it all anymore. I can't. It's like a pair of spandex pants, it can stretch pretty far under some pretty big weight, but at some point it is not to rip or hurt the person wearing it. I feel like I'm drowning without any sign of a life boat near by. I tell him how I feel and it gets me no where. What do I do? I do love him, but I just can't do it all anymore. I feel like his mother, I take care of him, do things for him, and he even hugs me like I'm his mom by burying his head in my chest. I even went into our room and took out my pillow and blanket in hopes that he would talk to me and work on our relationship, but he just rolled over and went to bed. So now it is up to me to find my sugar.
I'm going to go and bake my daughter's birthday cake now and think about what path I should take, what choices I have, and how I can find my sugar to add to these lemons.
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